Sunday, December 9, 2007


A recent item in the Pioneer Press contained this tidbit:

"We've had a number of talks on a lot of different fronts," Smith said.

Those talks, which apparently never resumed Thursday because most teams cleared out early, will resume by phone, e-mail and text messages over the next few weeks.

Naturally, this got us very curious as to what exactly goes on when two GMs text each other. And, thanks to a loophole in FISA, Batgirl was able to obtain this super secret transcript of one such conversation between new Twins GM Bill Smith and the Red Sox's Theo Epstein, which she posts here for your edification.

[Need help? click here]

TE: yo homes its theO
BS: sup sk8er
TE: sup newbie
BS: did u c da rumor bout johan 2 oak 4 dan haren
TE: LOL!!! haren is so lamo
BS: sing out louise!
TE: so wuz da 411
BS: ?
TE: wuz it gunna take 2 get dis deal done
BS: ok we need 1 mlb reD playa & 2 A-level prospects & 1 nice (_(_)
TE: ?
BS: we lost torii if we lose johan we need a nice (_(_)
TE: how nice? not givin u Tek
BS: mayB not A-level (_(_) at least B+ (_(_)
TE: & whoz got B+-level (_(_) IYHO?
BS: ellsbury
TE: 2 things retardo montalban. thing 1: ells has A-level (_(_) ells is 6 tool playa
BS: ?
TE: (_(_) is 6th tool
BS: u a tool
TE: thing 2: u not gettin ells
BS: no deal den no johan no kkkkkkkkkkkkkk
TE: no ells
BS: gotta go txt cashman
TE: ok ok how bout coco coco has A+ (_(_)
BS: stop tryin 2 gimme coco
TE: come on johan 4 coco & his A++++++ (_(_)
BS: how bout johan 4 yr mum?
TE: lv my mum outta dis
BS: ^ yurs
TE: wuz wrong wit coco
BS: u <3 coco so bad
TE: byte me
BS: cocoz yr BF mmmm coco xxxxxx
TE: shuddup bzzzzch
BS: oh one sec BRB
TE: ok
BS: sorry terry ryan wuz here wants job back
TE: OMG! wud u say
BS: i sez screw u baldy da bilzzzzzerz runnin dis show
TE: no u didnt
BS: did 2
BS: gotta go project runwayz on
TE: ooooh will give you ells 4 heidi klum ;-)
BS: ha u wish! c u
TE: l8er t8er


John said...

TG: BG da bomb

(And yes, I know that's a lame text message. I'm 40. Work with me here.)

WinTwins57 said...

Awesome, freaking hilarious! :)

BD said...

:) :) :)

luv u BG; just wish I had a text to English dictionary .....

Katie said...

"we lost torii if we lose johan we need a nice (_(_)"

Word, BatGirl. Truer words were never fake txtd.

k-bro said...

dis S vry funE
im hpE 2 cu agn BG
u rk


TwinsGoddess said...

Sweet Baby Jeebus that is funny.

Holy Crap I miss Batgirl.

Flip said...

Oh, the funny...

CapitalBabs said...

*pees herself giggling*

glad to know BS is keeping the important things in mind and checking out (_)_) during trade talks!!

John said...

I can't get the words "retardo montalban" out of my head today.

E-6 said...


Older than John...


CarrieICL said...

I think that made my brain bleed a little.

Karleeee said...

bat girl i did not know you were so in and hip with that lingo..

*puts on my lollerskates and skates off to the carnival so i can jump on the lollercoaster* ps: i think i peed a little.

Dan said...


adam said...

One thing is abundantly clear: BG has not become the least bit rusty in her time off.

TnxE6 BG!

rhielm said...

Will you ever be back for good? I need you to survive, the Twins need you. Just look at what happened after you left, their first losing season since '00.