Sunday, July 8, 2007

Gamelog II: The Sequel

PREGAME

John: Huzzah!
Kyle: You're going all renfest on me now?
John: Renfest?
Kyle: Renaissance Festival?
John: Ah. Verily, it beith a fine day for some bat and ball.
Kyle: So do I dare watch the WGN broadcast? Bert and Dick wear on me, but they're nowhere near as much as Hawk and Jackson.
John: I don't have the guts for Hawk. He gone!
Kyle: He's wearing some pineapple themed Hawaiian shirt during the pregame.
John: Aloha?
Kyle: Would that be the hello, or goodbye version? I'm treating it as the latter.
John: I'm hoping the latter as well.
Kyle: If the Twins don't score at least ten today, I'm calling the afternoon a waste.
John: Who's pitching for the Sox?
Kyle: Vazquez, so not quite in the Gavin Floyd fifth-circle-of-hell for Sox fans.
John: Haha. Ten sound about right; that would restore a decent per-game average for this series.
Kyle: Silva's on the mound for the hometown nine, so depending on which version of Carlos shows up, we might need 'em.
John: We'll see how he deals with the heat--if he gets sleepy and decides to take an afternoon nap, we might have some trouble.
Kyle: Mackowiak, Owens and Terrero in the outfield for the Sox... we'd better win.

TOP OF THE FIRST
Twins 0, White Sox 0


John: The outfield from hell.
[Luis Castillo grounds out to the pitcher.]
Kyle: Castillo runs very fast for a guy that simulates the arthritic gate of an AARP member.
John: Castillo's quest for a higher OBP than SLG continues. We might need to get him a Rascal scooter or something soon.
[Jason Bartlett comes to the plate.]
Kyle: So what's the over-under on the number of times AJ mentions Bartlett's mother during this at-bat?
John: Now that Bartlett's taking a few pitches, I'd say 86. Gotta give AJ time to work.
[Bartlett strikes out.]
John: Ooof, not a pretty swing. I had visions of Punto there.
Kyle: You can take pills for that.
John: Those would have to be pretty potent.
[Vazquez gets Mauer to ground out to third.]
Kyle: A scoreless top half... The Twins are way off their pace for the series.
John: The quest for ten runs off to an inauspicious start... At least we're free of Buehrle. If the Sox wanted to deal him to the NL, I would be totally okay with that.
Kyle: You don't want the Sox to tie up a bunch of funds on an aging control artist?
John: Hmmm, good point.
Kyle: The Twins should place a call or two, convince Buehrle he deserves Zito money.
John: He still drives me nuts when he shuts down the Twins.
Kyle: Well, Jorge de la Rosa can do that as well, so...

BOTTOM OF FIRST
Twins 0, White Sox 0


John: I imagine Silva coming out of the dugout wet, George Foreman-style.
[Jerry Owens leads off for Chicago.]
John: Dick says that both pitchers are throwing a high percentage of strikes so far. Silva sure has been pounding the zone... two times out of four.
Kyle: Silva's stash seems thicker today, almost in the realm of evil doppelganger, only identifiable by the sinister mustache. I bet he gives up a ton of fly balls, if that's the case.
John: He needs a black bowler hat. And a cape.
Kyle: The cape might work. He could really hide the ball during his delivery.
John: In fact, he should probably just dress up like the Count from Sesame Street.
[Owens grounds out to short.]
Kyle: Dick again with the "Twins' defense second in the majors, statistically." Which statistics?
John: Of course, statistically. As in, the number of little stars that Dick drew in his scorebook to mark good plays. The Twins lead the league in Dick's stars.
[Iguchi grounds out to second.]
Kyle: I heard he's upgraded to smiley-face stickers.
John: FSN must be throwing cash at him, then.
[Thome fouls out to catcher.]
Kyle: Bizarro-Silva answers back with a one-two-three inning of his own.
John: He wanted to get back in the shade. Both teams with the dark unis today: equal-opportunity heat stroke.
Kyle: Do baseball players resort to the pickle juice?
John: Good question.
Kyle: I'll go do a shot in the Twins honor.
John: I figure Mauer and Morneau just drink plenty of Land-O-Lakes.

TOP OF SECOND
Twins 0, White Sox 0


John: "It's so hot out... milk was a bad choice."
Kyle: I heard Joe is up for an Oscar. "Pour it on, Twins fans."
John: Some of the finest work I've ever seen, really.
Kyle: I rank things...
-Skinny Brando
-Skinny Wells
-Mauer
-Olivier
John: I can't quibble with that.
[Cuddyer grounds out to third.]
Kyle: Man, that pickle juice shot... rough. I think I needed to add more bourbon.
John: A common rookie mistake. Has Morneau picked a Derby pitcher yet?
Kyle: He's in negotiations with Gavin Floyd right now.
[Morneau grounds out to first.]
Kyle: Why don't the Twins order their line-up: Castillo-Mauer- Cuddyer-Morneau-Hunter?
John: That's a mystery to me. Mauer seems like an ideal two-hole guy.
Kyle: As great a season as Hunter is having, does he really need to bat sixth so Punto/Bartlett can hit second?
John: Urgh. Castillo and Mauer getting on base like crazy, then get to the power guys--works for me.
[Hunter grounds out to the pitcher.]
Kyle: And the Twins go down one-two-three in the second. I don't want to jinx it, but I think we're looking at dueling perfect games here.
John: We could be making history. Especially if the Twins don't start hitting a few balls in the air.

BOTTOM OF SECOND
Twins 0, White Sox 0


Kyle: Is Cuddyer sporting some Wayfarers in right?
John: Something for the ladies, I'm sure.
Kyle: I think the all-star break has started early. I bet he dons some deck shoes and pleated kaki shorts by the fifth.
John: If he brings a fishing rod to the plate, we'll know what's up.
[Konerko strikes out looking.]
Kyle: Silva with a strikeout. Shame on you, Paul Konerko.
John: Silva=Nolan Ryan.
[Pierzynski grounds out to second.]
Kyle: Sox fans have to be mildly excited about getting a long look at Fields now that Creede is done for the year.
John: It's probably a relief to have a 3B who can actually tie his own shoes.
Kyle: Silva's high change-up lands for a strike, much to the ire of the Southside faithful. It's not Silva's fault though, a team of bartenders cut all of Section 109 off last night.
John: I'm hoping the fine family that beat the crap out of the Royals' base coach came out this afternoon.
Kyle: As long as they go after Ulger and not White.
John: Morneau might jump in to help.
[Fields grounds out to second.]

TOP OF THE THIRD
Twins 0, White Sox 0

[Kubel grounds out to second.]
Kyle: Gardenhire to pitch for Morneau in the derby?
John: Ah, so Gardy gets the Derby nod. Pressure!
Kyle: Can we please change the managers wearing uniforms rule. The last thing a national television audience needs to see is Ron Gardenhire in tight pants.
John: I'm with you there. At least Don Zimmer stays out of sight now.
[Cirillo flies out to right.]
Kyle: : Cirillo becomes the first Twin to put a ball in the air.
[Punto doubles to deep right center.]
John: Punto breaks the ice? He might have been my 9th guess.
Kyle: Punto doubles, breaking up the perfect game and collecting his fourth hit of the season!
John: If he's not careful, he might stay above .200.
Kyle: Enter RBI-machine, Luis Castillo.
John: I can feel the power from here.
Kyle: 2-1, Vazquez is pitching around him.
John: Is it too late to slide Mauer up to the two-spot?
Kyle: 3-1, Vazquez doesn't want to get burned deep by feeding any strikes to Luis.
[Castillo flies out to left center.]
Kyle: And the threat is over... for now.
John: Luis is the one guy I don't want to hit the ball in the air, so of course he does.

BOTTOM OF THE THIRD
Twins 0, White Sox 0


John: Why is it called the "game reset"?
Kyle: No idea.
[Mackowiak homers to deep right.]
Kyle: Ouch.
John: Well, both perfect games are toast.
Kyle: Double ouch, because that's Rob Mackowiak.
John: Enter Evil Silva?
Kyle: I don't understand it, Silva fed him a change-up belt high over the middle of the plate, the Twins just can't catch a break.
John: Yeah, total fluke that a major-leaguer would hit that.
[Terrero doubles to deep right.]
Kyle: Terrero doubles.
John: I'm collecting canned food and preparing my bomb shelter.
[Uribe pops out to short.]
Kyle: Don't we look like clowns for daring to question the Mackowiak-Owens-Terrero outfield.
John: We tempted the fates.
Kyle: They're slugging 2.000 so far this game, entering Owens' second at-bat.
[Owens grounds out to short, Terrero to third.]
John: According to Dick, Owens is not yet at the level of Kenny Lofton. I'm glad he pointed that out.
Kyle: I think he's gunning for Larry King's job.
John: I'm not convinced that King is still alive; he might be a robot at this point and no one would notice.
Kyle: "Johan Santana is a good pitcher. You heard it here first."
John: "I know some people might disagree with me, but that Henry Aaron was one fine ballplayer."
[Iguchi signles to center, Terrero scores.]
Kyle: Nuts. Silva misses his spot and Iguchi singles in a run.
[Thome homers to deep right, Iguchi scores.]
John: Oh boy. Thome smash.
Kyle: Nuts. Silva misses his spot and Thome achieves escape velocity.
John: That is Thome's 438th career home run against the Twins.
Kyle: Damn it, Bert, not every single homerun is hit with the "uppercut swing".
John: It's either an uppercut swing, or he drops the head of the bat. And every out is hit off the end of the bat. You should know these things by now.
Kyle: Two-outs, no one on, does Silva thump Konerko out of spite? We could use a brawl heading into the break. Most players would have three days to heal.
John: As long as we hold Johan down. Morneau could deal some serious damage, I would think. He'd spend the whole time trying to pull guys' jerseys over their heads.
Kyle: So could Ulger. Reyes could sit on someone while Ulger gave them batting tips.
[Konerko homers to deep left.]
John: Ulger should give Konerko batting tips. Solo shot, 5-0 Sox.
Kyle: I don't think this is Bizarro-Silva, because Bizarro-Silva has success with fly balls. This is just regular Silva, doing what hurts him the most.
John: Going to need every one of those ten runs.
Kyle: Four two-out RBIs. Yuck. At least hit AJ now. It's not like anyone's going to back him in a brawl. Maybe Ozzie.
John: Ozzie could be dangerous in a fight. The crazy ones are always trouble.
Kyle: And if you speak Spanish, it'd be hard not to laugh at the stream of profanity that would make a sailor blush with shame.
[Pierzynski singles to right.]
John: Ramon Ortiz, AKA "The White Flag", warming up.
Kyle: Four two-out hits now, someone needs to put out the fire, even if it takes the form of a controlled burn like Ortiz.
John: Silva's sweating enough to put out even the mightiest of flames.
Kyle: He doesn't even need Moises Alou's mighty stream-of-justice.
John: Hopefully no one ever does. We should introduce Moises to the pickle juice.
[Fields singles up the middle, Pierzynski to second.]
Kyle: Fifth straight two-out hit. Kind of wish that would have hit Silva.
[Mackowiak grounds out to second.]
John: Mercifully, the inning ends.
Kyle: I'm inventing a new drink right here and now. The Alou is a shot that's two parts pickle juice, one part bourbon.
John: And it hates Steve Bartman.
Kyle: The Bartman leaves you with a hangover that lasts another 80 years...

TOP OF FOURTH
Twins 0, White Sox 5


Kyle: Where's Jon Garland when we need him?
John: The Twins think they scored their July supply of runs on Friday, apparently.
Kyle: 2-1 to ace number-two hitter... Jason Bartlett.
John: Super stud.
Kyle: The over-under on JB's impending dinger: 480 feet. What's your bet?
John: Oh, 500 easy. Or, zero.
[Bartlett strikes out swinging.]
Kyle: Or he could climb the ladder and miss the same pitch he did in his first strike-out of the game.
John: At least he's consistent.
Kyle: That was option 1A, I swear.
[Mauer singles to short.]
Kyle: "Pour it on, Mauer."
Kyle: Uribe throws a tantrum at short after botching the transfer from glove to throwing hand.
John: Stupid ball!
Kyle: His mom just gave him a time-out for saying crap. "That's not how we talk in this infield."
[Cuddyer singles to left, Mauer to second.]
John: Two singles, and I feel a rally coming on.
John: Well, hopefully Torii doesn't have another meltdown then.
Kyle: Two on for Morneau...
[Morneau singles to right, Mauer scores, Cuddyer to third.]
Kyle: Get through... yes!
John: We comin', we comin'!
Kyle: The most likely method of scoring runs, and the Twins entire offensive philosophy for most the season... three singles in the same inning.
John: Also very easy to put together at any given moment.
Kyle: Hunter up... ooh, did that two-seam really catch the corner?
John: The zone isn't quite as big as yesterday's.
[Hunter grounds to short, Morneau out at second, Cuddyer scores.]

Kyle: Fielder's choice with the runner from third scoring. Only three runs back now. Kubel ties it with one swing, I'm making the call.
John: That would be a mighty hack.
Kyle: .263 with seven dingers on the year, it's pretty much a lock, right?
John: The third run is a reward for hitting it 700 feet.
Kyle: Right. Don't trouble me with mundane details like the actual number of runners on base.
John: There is no spoon.
[Kubel strikes out swinging.]
John: ...and no homer.
Kyle: Yuck. Don't chase the splitter in the dirt...
John: Still, the comeback begins.
Kyle: Now the Twins just need Silva or Ortiz to shut down the likes of Mackowiak-Owens-Terrero.
John: No easy task. The resistible force versus the movable object.
Kyle: Jorge de la Rosa could do it.
John: Jorge can do anything.
Kyle: He's like zombo.com.
John: The impossible is possible.
Kyle: The only limit is yourself.

BOTTOM OF FOURTH
Twins 2, White Sox 5

[Terrero grounds out to short.]
Kyle: Finally, a groundball out from Silva. Man, you know it's a rough day if we're saying stuff like that...
John: No kidding. An out! Thank the gods!
[Uribe singles to center.]
Kyle: I thought Torii was going to go for that. Being able to decide between a single, and a single and a two base error, along with the insurmountable gap in talent and skill, is what separates me from Torii Hunter.
[Uribe gets caught trying to steal second.]
John: And Mauer guns him down anyway, so it's all for the best.
Kyle: Torii knew that was going to happen.
John: He has the power of foresight.
Kyle: He doesn't believe in premonition, but has a feeling he will someday.
[Owens singles through Punto into left.]
John: ...Punto "lost the ball in the shirts"? What does that mean?
Kyle: I'm going to knock back another Alou, as opposed to wrestling with that thought.
John: A fair choice. Makes Silva 14% easier to take.
Kyle: Bookers and Gedney were truly made for each other.
[Iguchi grounds out to short.]
John: Scoreless inning!
Kyle: Nice throw by Bartlett and the Twins escape the inning unharmed.
John: It should always be so easy.

TOP OF FIFTH
Twins 2, White Sox 5


[Cirillo singles to center.]
Kyle: Cirillo with another seeing eye single for the Twins.
John: The offense is a machine.
Kyle: A very small one, yes.
John: I'm not sure what kind; maybe a cotton gin or something.
Kyle: And simple. More like an inclined plane, or the wheel.
John: That would imply the possibility of momentum, though.
Kyle: Zing! Remember folks, John is here all week and the 7:30 show is completely different from the 9:00 show.
John: Tip your waitresses, and enjoy the veal.
Kyle: You know Reyes does.
John: [Rimshot.]
[Punto singles to right, Cirillo to second.]
Kyle: Two singles. Slap-hitter rally!
John: Punto=Pete Rose.
[Castill sacrifices to catcher, Cirillo to third, Punto to second.]
Kyle: Castillo with a sac bunt. He's quick enough to leg that out if it's a better bunt, but I don't know how I feel playing for one or two runs with Silva struggling on the mound in the fifth.
John: I suppose we should take what we can get.
[Bert takes a break from the game to observe a jet overhead.]
John: I'm surprised that Bert knows what a jet stream is. I figured he would think it's the exhaust that a 474 leaves across the sky.
Kyle: 2-2. Big at-bat for Bartlett.
[Vazquez misses for a ball.]
Kyle: 3-2, could be a pivotal moment in the game.
John: If he wanted to slap a double down the right field line, I would allow it.
[Bartlett fouls back a close pitch in on his hands.]
Kyle: Good job just fighting off that two-seam.
John: Bert is having trouble stealing AJ's sign.
Kyle: I think he's a Virgo.
[Bartlett strikes out looking.]
Kyle: Ooh... that's the same two-seam called against Hunter.
John: Yeesh.
Kyle: At least I'm noticing some consistency from the umpire.
John: He looked completely frozen.
Kyle: ...even if the ump is giving Vazquez the 1992 Greg Maddux treatment on the outside corners.
John: No kidding.
John: 2-0 to Mauer. Really, really could use a hit here.
Kyle: 3-0, first base open, Cuddyer up next. Though call for Chicago.
Kyle: 3-1, hitter's pitch. "Pour it on, Joe."
John: Full count--pressure's on now.
[Mauer strikes out looking.]
John: That was absurd. Called "third strike."
Kyle: Can't we get some Ted Williamseque, "If that was a strike, Mr. Mauer would have let you know," going on here?
John: Where's QuesTec when you need it?
Kyle: Kidnapped and secretly locked away in ministorage owned by Curt Schilling.
John: Curses.

BOTTOM OF FIFTH
Twins 0, White Sox 5


John: As Dick said a few weeks ago, if any pitcher is used to watching his team squander chances, it's Silva.
Kyle: Thome at the plate. Silva misses low for ball one. Looks like the negative reinforcement he received in their last battle made an impression.
[Thome singles to right.]
John: Oh goody, more base runners.
Kyle: The real problem is, with Thome on the base paths, he's guaranteed to score with just three or four more White Sox hits.
[Thome advances to second on a passed ball.]
John: You're being pretty generous.
[Konerko grounds out to the second after the ball deflects off Silva's glove, Thome to third.]
Kyle: Nice play by Castillo.
John: Very solid throw.
Kyle: He gets rid of the ball so fast.
John: Now even Thome can score on a base hit, though.
[Pierzynski hits a sacrifice fly to deep center field, Thome scores.]
Kyle: Good job fighting the wind by Hunter there. Just like burrito night in the clubhouse.
John: Yeesh. We need to keep Reyes away from the post game spread.
[Fields bunts out to the pitcher.]
Kyle: Silva helps himself with the glove to get out of the inning. Now if he'd only do the same with his pitching...
John: That would probably be more efficient.
Kyle: As bad as things are, at least I'm tuned into Fox 29 and not WGN. We've avoided three "put-it-on-the-board-yeses" and a slew of "he-gones".
John: Always nice, if you want to be driven insane.

TOP OF THE SIXTH
Twins 2, White Sox 6


[Cuddyer flies out to right.]
John: I'm guessing the Twins missed their chance there in the 5th.
[Morneau homers to deep right center.]
Kyle: Get out!
John: ...he showed me.
Kyle: Put that on the board, Hawk.
[Hunter grounds out to short.]
Kyle: Come on, Buckets!
John: The bottom of the order is money in the bank. The Sox might as well just give up now.
Kyle: A pre-Black Tuesday bank, with fractional reserves?
John: Good point. Perhaps giving out a few sub-prime loans.
Kyle: Hat tip to Ludwig von Mises and his Theory of Money and Credit.
[Kubel strikes out looking.]
John: Whee for called third strikes.
Kyle: The ump is very anxious to start his three day vacation as well. (With his strike-zone I can't imagine he'll be officiating the all-star game.)
John: Maybe he has a fishing trip with Cuddyer planed.
Kyle: If that's the case he'd better BYOB, because I don't think Kubel will be sharing after that call. Only nine outs left with which to stage a thrilling come from behind win.
John: The Twins have a flair for the dramatic.

BOTTOM OF SIXTH
Twins 3, White Sox 6


Kyle: Enter the Racoon. He just hasn't been the same since he got off the juice.
John: We should see what we can do to fix that.
[Mackowiak strikes out swinging.]
Kyle: I've got a lot of spam e-mails I think could help him. And how the hell do these people know I need so much help in the bedroom?
[Terrero grounds out to third.]
John: The internets are amazing things.
Kyle: Although, they're not a big truck.
John: Good point. You don't want them to get clogged up.
[Uribe fiels out to right.]
Kyle: Ron Gardenhire just wants to know why it's always a flashing 12:00 in Japan.
John: He's pretty sure it has something to do with time zones and the metric system.
Kyle: Morneau could help explain the latter to him. "Did you see that 150 KM/H heat?!?"
John: "Ooftah, that was a good one."
Kyle: At this point, if my knowledge of kids sports movies serves, the Twins need to bring in a ringer to turn things around. Somehow, I don't think RonDL White will do it, though.
John: I smell Tony Batista.

TOP OF SEVENTH
Twins 3, White Sox 6


[Cirillo grounds out to first.]
John: Literally. I smell Tony Batista.
Kyle: Is his reputation that he's a gamer, or just gamey?
John: "Gamey" sounds like undercooked "gamer."
Kyle: I don't think health conscious cannibals would touch him. Too much gristle.
John: How many times can Dick say "Punto with a pair of hits"?
Kyle: You hear that "Go back to the minors!" from the stands behind the plate?
John: I'm ready to hire that guy. He knows what's up.
Kyle: You think that's a Southsider, or a Twins fan on a weekend getaway?
John: In any case, I'm hoping Ryan can hear him.
[Punto grounds out to first.]
Kyle: Two down. If the Sox get a nutty two-out rally, it's only fair the Twins do.
John: Seems reasonable.
[Castillo grounds out to second.]
Kyle: Not to Javier Vazquez, it doesn't.
John: Vazquez=Cy Young.
Kyle: He's been good of recent, even dodging his reputation for turning into Carlos Silva after 90 pitches.
John: Like the worst Cinderella ever.
Kyle: I wonder what kind of drop a pumpkin gets on a change-up... let's ask Dennis Reyes.
John: He's the font of culinary knowledge.
Kyle: I want to see an all-singles ten run rally next inning for the Twins. I'm going to cue up some Benny Hill music in advance.
John: That should only require about three trips through the order, right?

BOTTOM OF SEVENTH
Twins 3, White Sox 6


Kyle: Rincon wishes he was on the juice with Jerry Owens at the plate. I don't understand why Gardenhire isn't putting him on. There's no point in taking these senseless risks.
John: He's liable to launch a 16-run homer at the drop of a hat.
[Owens grounds out to second.]
Kyle: Fortunately for Gardenhire, Rincon beats the odds and Owens grounds out.
John: I pity the bullpen catcher that has to warm up Neshek.
[Iguchi strikes out swinging.]
Kyle: No way, that guy has the best gig on Earth. It's like third string quarterback, but you don't ever have to worry about winding up in a game gone horribly wrong.
[Thome singles to center.]
Kyle: Thome with his second single. I bet Morneau holds him really close.
John: Thome's 4000th career hit against the Twins. Congrats, Jim!
[Neshek relieves Rincon.]
Kyle: I'd like to send out a thank you to Ron Gardenhire for letting me get my Neshek fix in, as despite the best efforts of the Twins Blogsphere, Deadspin, and a few others, he won't be pitching in and blogging about the all-star game.
John: Humanity has suffered a great loss.
Kyle: It has been said that democracy gives the people what they want, good and hard.
[Konerko strikes out swinging.]
Kyle: I can't fathom why everyone wouldn't want to see the nutty sidearm antics of Pat Neshek in what has become an increasingly boring string of all-star games.
John: He should pitch the Home Run Derby. To everyone. Neshek strikes me as the kind of guy who calls everyone "dude."
Kyle: With Neshek, I'm thinking it's more "dood".
John: Good point. d00d.

TOP OF THE EIGHTH
Twins 3, White Sox 6


Kyle: I promise to knock back an Alou for every run the Twins score this inning. I figure, what the hell, I'm only six feet from my bathroom right now.
John: I don't think you'll have too much trouble meeting that goal.
Kyle: Bartlett, Mauer and Cuddyer due up. Six outs left for the Twins. Vazquez being left in.
[Bartlett singles to third.]
Kyle: Nice leather from Fields, and a smart decision to put the ball in his pocket.
John: I saw a replay of Pedro Martinez's meltdown in the 2003 ALCS the other day--I'm feeling lucky today.
Kyle: Now begins the reign of singles. Assuming the umpire contains his strike zone to three feet on either side of the plate...
[Mauer pops out to second.]
John: Getting a few guys on base for Morneau wouldn't hurt.
Kyle: I will say this for Vazquez, his slider has been on today. Cuddyer wasn't even close on that last whiff.
John: That last ball was closer than the third strike to Mauer in the 5th.
Kyle: Wow, I can't believe the ump didn't ring Cuddyer up on that 0-2 fastball just feet off the plate.
[Cuddyer grounds into a 6-4-3 double play.]
Kyle: Wish he had though... GIDP.
John: Ack. Well, I'm all for extra degree of difficulty.
Kyle: It's what the Twins roster construction is all about.

BOTTOM OF THE EIGHTH
Twins 3, White Sox 6

[Reyes relieves Neshek.]
Kyle: Big Sweat!
John: I would hate to be anywhere near him in this heat.
Kyle: "Reyes has spent some time on the disabled list with an inflamed shoulder." How could the Twins medical staff tell?
John: He was slower getting through the buffet.
Kyle: Only carried two plates with that arm.
[Pierzynski strikes out swinging.]
Kyle: Strikeout to start the inning.
[Fields flies out to deep right center.]
[Mackowiak grounds out to short.]
Kyle: One-two-three inning for Brunswick.
John: The stage is set!
Kyle: Down to the final three outs. Can we get a pinch umpire behind the plate?

TOP OF THE NINTH
Twins 3, White Sox 6


Kyle: Any chance Jon Garland or Gavin Floyd will be out to finish the game?
John: I'll put in a call to Ozzie and see what I can do.
Kyle: Make sure to drop two-dozen expletives. He'll respond better.
John: Vazquez coming back out?
Kyle: Nuts, although hopefully the Twins hitters are familiar with his stuff by the ninth.
[Morneau pops out to shallow left.]
Kyle: Okay, down to a pair of outs. This just makes the comeback all the more thrilling, right?
John: Of course.
[FSN airs a breif interview with Hunter about his odds of robbing another Bonds homerun in the coming All-Star Game.]
Kyle: Did Hunter just drop a "psyche" ?
John: I'm a little freaked out right now.
Kyle: He's got a neon green Hypercolor tee-shirt and a fanny pack waiting for him back in his locker.
John: The poll on ESPN.com asking who will win the Home Run Derby does not include Morneau as a choice.
Kyle: That's probably a good thing from the people that brought you the productive outs and "player rating" metrics.
[Hunter strikes out swinging.]
John: Whee, final out! Where's the rally monkey?
Kyle: Somewhere in Anaheim. 0-2 to Kubel. The Twins want to get out of town as much as the umpire.
[Kubel strikes out swinging.]
Kyle: And that does it for the Twins.
John: Well then. Can we borrow a few extra runs from Friday?
Kyle: Or count Morneau's homeruns from tomorrow?
John: If ESPN allows him to show up, I guess.
Kyle: Morneau is one of the plaintiffs in the Woody Page sexual harassment suit.
John: Eeek!
Kyle: I think it was Kubel that got groped by Harold Reynolds, though.
John: You gotta be careful on those trips to Boston Market.
Kyle: Buerhle signs a four year extension with the Sox. Let's hope it's for a payroll-crippling sum of money.

FINAL
Twins 3, White Sox 6

5 comments:

Stan said...

Nice conversations.. Are this game log talks only about the twins? Its a nice game for the writers isn't it?

Stan Jones - "Wedding Cards

Math and Games said...

I enjoyed reading your conversation. It seems that I can relate on the topic you've discuss.

Janet Cox - "3th Grade Worksheets"

Mozy Code said...

Oh, I can't relate to this game. It is new to me as I read your conversation. It really inspires me.

david said...

It is a nice drama, I have fun reading it. Thanks for sharing.

David Fellers - Accelerated Nursing Programs in Nevada

Max Moreno said...

It's great conversations, keep posting!

max - online bachelor degree programs