Sunday, April 22, 2007

Twins-Royals Game Log

TOP OF THE FIRST: Twins 0, Royals 0.

Kyle (1:09:35 PM): Twins dodge a bullet early with DeJesus having the day off.

Kyle (1:09:42 PM): He's been on a tear.

John (1:10:04 PM): DeLaRosa!

John (1:10:10 PM): Huzzah!

Kyle (1:10:37 PM): He's been suprisingly adiquate in his first three starts.

John (1:11:04 PM): I'm massively excited for the Alexi Casilla era.

[Casilla lines out to Tony Pena, Jr. at shortstop.]

Kyle (1:11:34 PM): Nice contact there for a slap hitter, just placed too close to Pena.

John (1:11:45 PM): Yeah, he hit that well.

John (1:11:51 PM): And, he is not J.C. Romero.

John (1:12:01 PM): Which wins him all kinds of bonus points.

Kyle (1:12:04 PM): An excellent point.

[Punto slides head first into first base beating out the throw on an infield single.]

John (1:12:59 PM): Ah yes; it's nice to see Punto diving into first again.

Kyle (1:13:10 PM): Don't slide! It's not any faster and sooner or later he's going to tweak something.

John (1:13:26 PM): He gets hurt enough as it is.

Kyle (1:13:39 PM): And what's with Mauer catching while Redmond is in the line-up as the DH?

John (1:14:00 PM): I hate to use the word "idiocy," but...

Kyle (1:14:25 PM): That, or the Twins are really worried about Esteban German...

John (1:14:28 PM): Haha.

John (1:14:44 PM): And really, who in their right mind wouldn't be?

Kyle (1:14:58 PM): If he can just figure out a way to steal first base...

John (1:15:18 PM): He'll do it by just sneaking out from the dugout.

Kyle (1:15:47 PM): And just act confused if any of the umpires call him on it.

John (1:16:11 PM): Yeah - "What are you talking about? If I didn't get a hit, then how did I get here?"

[Jorge DeLaRosa walks Cuddyer.]

Kyle (1:16:14 PM): Wow did that pitch miss...

Kyle (1:16:24 PM): Looked like a pitch-out on 3-1.

John (1:16:43 PM): That's the kind of execution that will take you straight to 100 losses.

Kyle (1:17:20 PM): Bases loaded, one out... nothing like establishing yourself early...

John (1:17:29 PM): Especially for Ortiz.

John (1:17:39 PM): I'm all about giving him a cushion.

Kyle (1:18:30 PM): I read over at Baseball HQ that his fly ball rate this year has only been 19%, and to expect it to regress back to around 30%, which is when his chronic gopheritis will return.

John (1:18:50 PM): Ugh.

John (1:18:57 PM): Oh well - get what we can out of him.

[Hunter flies out to center and Bremer mistakes Mark Teahen for Ryan Shealy.]

Kyle (1:19:00 PM): Shealy?!?

Kyle (1:19:03 PM): In center?

John (1:19:21 PM): Teahen?

Kyle (1:19:31 PM): A sort-of-humorous-gaff by Bremer.

John (1:19:34 PM): Haha.

John (1:19:46 PM): But still - I didn't know Teahen could play center.

Kyle (1:19:57 PM): Define "could".

John (1:20:02 PM): Good point.

Kyle (1:20:14 PM): He's certainly capable of positioning himself there.

John (1:20:31 PM): He can put the glove on his hand.

John (1:20:45 PM): Decent catch on Hunter to end the inning, at least.

John (1:21:28 PM): I think I'd pay to see Shealy try to play center, though.

BOTTOM OF THE FIRST: Twins 0, Royals 0.

Kyle (1:21:58 PM): First baseman batting eighth for the Royals... always a good sign.

John (1:22:06 PM): Yeah, totally.

John (1:22:29 PM): Look at those empty seats.

Kyle (1:22:40 PM): I had a lot of fun at games when the Twins were terrible. I'd always pull the, "I'm from out of town, is there a trophy case I could photograph?" with the octogenarian they post to guard the stairs from the upper deck to lower level.

John (1:23:00 PM): Muahaha.

[Blyleven mentions the Twins have the best defense in the league.]

John (1:23:06 PM): "Twins have the best defense... statistically."

John (1:23:12 PM): Err... how so?

Kyle (1:24:32 PM): As much as I expect Ortiz to plummet back to Earth, he's shown great control all spring and early this season.

John (1:24:52 PM): What if he actually ends up pitching well?

John (1:24:57 PM): Like, four-ish ERA?

John (1:25:11 PM): Do we cannonize Terry Ryan?

Kyle (1:25:34 PM): It wouldn't be the first time I've been completely wrong, but I'd rather heap the praise on Rick Anderson.

John (1:26:10 PM): He could be the anti-Batista.

Kyle (1:26:22 PM): Unless the scouting department saw something in a pitcher that gave up over 30 bombs in less than 200 innings pitching his home games at RFK?

John (1:26:28 PM): Haha.

John (1:26:36 PM): He carried himself well.

Kyle (1:26:43 PM): Haha.

John (1:26:53 PM): Good attitude, always took control of pop flies.

TOP OF THE SECOND: Twins 0, Royals 0.

John (1:27:29 PM): I can't get over this, "Redmond at DH thing."

John (1:27:50 PM): I'd prefer to keep Mauer in some kind of protective bubble at all times anyway.

Kyle (1:28:25 PM): I don't mind it in isolation, against a lefty, with White and Cirillo on the DL, but yeah, do we really need Mauer behind the plate today, against the Royals?

John (1:29:17 PM): I don't see any reason not to DH Mauer - Redmond is more than serviceable behind the plate.

[Josh Rabe strikes out against DeLaRosa on a curve outside the zone.]

Kyle (1:29:57 PM): I like the organizational soldiers like Rabe, except when they're forced into extended duty, or when they're getting owned by Jorge DeLaRosa...

John (1:30:04 PM): Haha.

John (1:30:13 PM): Might leave that one off his resume.

John (1:30:23 PM): "Owned by Jorge DeLaRosa."

[Jason Bartlett flies out to left.]

Kyle (1:30:57 PM): Decent catch by Gload... so that gives KC a first baseman in left and a third baseman in center?

John (1:31:18 PM): I think they just put names in a hat before they fill out the lineup card.

Kyle (1:31:46 PM): Either that, or Jose Oquendo was named manager before the game but no one outside the team was told.

John (1:31:55 PM): Haha.

BOTTOM OF THE SECOND: Twins 0, Royals 0.

[Mike Sweeny squares to bunt and has to use the bat to protect himself on a pitch up and in.]

John (1:32:45 PM): Whoa.

Kyle (1:32:53 PM): A bunt, by Mike Sweeney?

Kyle (1:33:09 PM): I'm speachless.

John (1:33:14 PM): I thought he bunted it off his own face.

Kyle (1:33:27 PM): That was the right pitch for the situation.

John (1:33:46 PM): That's the kind of leadership that made Ryan take note of Ortiz.

[Alex Gordon steps into the box for his first at-bat of the game.]

Kyle (1:34:28 PM): Have you seen the Royals new marketing campaign?

John (1:34:32 PM): No.

Kyle (1:34:38 PM): Alex Gordon: Giving you a reason to pay attention.

John (1:34:47 PM): Haha.

John (1:34:55 PM): And killing my fantasy team right now.

Kyle (1:35:28 PM): You should start sending him angry letters using characters cut out of magazines.

John (1:35:49 PM): "iF YOu DOn,T HIT..."

Kyle (1:36:03 PM): Haha.

[Reggie Sanders is safe at first after a fielding error.]

Kyle (1:36:42 PM): Bartlett looked pretty rough on that backhand, the ball didn't appear to take any funny hops.

John (1:36:57 PM): I don't know why he tried to backhand it.

Kyle (1:37:11 PM): Groin affecting mobility?

John (1:37:21 PM): That'd be my guess.

Kyle (1:37:39 PM): Mine usually gets me to chase stuff.

Kyle (1:37:44 PM): Zing!

John (1:37:47 PM): Haha.

Kyle (1:38:06 PM): Oh, this is no longer a family show...

John (1:38:14 PM): We'll have to rate it PG-13.

[Ortiz strikes out John Buck swinging.]

Kyle (1:38:34 PM): Ortiz for Cy Young!

John (1:38:46 PM): We can start an online petition and everything.

Kyle (1:38:56 PM): Forget about locking Santana up long term, the Twins need to prioritize.

John (1:39:00 PM): Totally.

John (1:39:11 PM): Ortiz = Lifetime Favre-style contract.

John (1:39:43 PM): We'll have to rename the Cy Young the "Ramon Ortiz."

Kyle (1:40:06 PM): They already have that award. Eric Milton has won it the past few years.

John (1:40:12 PM): Haha.

TOP OF THE THIRD: Twins 0, Royals 0.

[Alexi Casilla steps into the box.]

Kyle (1:40:44 PM): Man, I bet Casilla is glad he got away from the middle infield log jam that is the Angels' organization.

John (1:41:07 PM): Yeah, no kidding.

John (1:41:16 PM): They moved Wood to third, right?

Kyle (1:41:41 PM): Yes, seeing as they've got Aybar and Cabrera is under contract still.

John (1:42:01 PM): I've got a man-crush on Kendrick.

[Casilla strikes out looking, Punto grounds out to second.]

John (1:42:27 PM): DeLaRosa... cruising?

Kyle (1:42:36 PM): Are we witnessing an Ortiz-DeLaRosa pitcher's duel?

John (1:42:51 PM): Not what I would have predicted.

Kyle (1:43:10 PM): It's the Gibson-Koufax of a new millenium.

John (1:43:20 PM): Hide the women and children.

Kyle (1:44:40 PM): I really don't want to have to say that the Twins really blew it by not capitalizing in the first with a converted reliever that Milwaukee discarded on the mound.

[Joe Mauer grounds out to short.]

John (1:44:55 PM): Ugh.

John (1:45:15 PM): I do enjoy the occasional run scoring.

BOTTOM OF THIRD: Twins 0, Royals 0.

[Ryan Shealy lines a single up the middle.]

John (1:46:52 PM): Ortiz almost got his head taken off.

Kyle (1:46:55 PM): And Shealy pulls his average back above .100.

John (1:47:03 PM): All hail Ryan Shealy!

[Tony Pena, Jr. attempts to sacrfice Shealy to second but bunts the ball foul.]

Kyle (1:47:42 PM): Why try to sac Shealy to second? It'll still take three hits to score him from there.

John (1:47:53 PM): Ba-zing!

John (1:48:18 PM): That kid behind the plate looks like he's having a wonderful time

John (1:48:34 PM): "Daddy, why do we suck?"

Kyle (1:49:01 PM): He was upset his old man cancled his dental appointment.

John (1:49:17 PM): That root canal is looking mighty attractive.

[Tony Pena, Jr. grounds into a fielders choice with Shealy out at second.]

Kyle (1:50:06 PM): Mauer better nail Pena trying to steal to justify the risk taken by sticking him behind the plate today.

John (1:50:22 PM): And hit another three doubles.

Kyle (1:51:12 PM): Ortiz is pounding the zone, and not getting pounded back. Nice to see.

John (1:51:27 PM): He seems pretty confident in his stuff.

John (1:51:38 PM): Which, against the Royals, is probably justified.

Kyle (1:52:05 PM): That's good for a guy sentimentally known as "Whiplash" back in our nation's capital.

John (1:52:19 PM): Kept the chiropractors in business.

John (1:52:29 PM): Along with Ted Kennedy behind the wheel.

[Ross Gload homers to center scoring Pena.]

Kyle (1:52:42 PM): And I jinxed it.

John (1:52:42 PM): Yuck.

John (1:52:53 PM): Fear Ross Gload.

Kyle (1:53:45 PM): How come with every homerun hit, according to Bert, the batter just "dropped the head of the bat"?

John (1:53:57 PM): It's just that easy.

Kyle (1:54:18 PM): Why didn't I ever think of that back in Babe Ruth?

John (1:54:24 PM): Totally.

John (1:54:32 PM): I can drop the head of the bat, too.

John (1:54:39 PM): In fact, I can drop the whole bat.

[Teahen pops an Ortiz pitch foul behind the plate and out of play to the first base side.]

Kyle (1:55:31 PM): I'm completely and utterly paranoid. Someone tell Mauer he's not allowed to run after pop fouls.

John (1:56:38 PM): Keep him on a leash.

[After Teahen singles, Sweeney singles to center and advances to second with Morneau unable to get rid of the relay from Hunter with no one covering second leaving runners at second and third.]

John (1:57:09 PM): Urgh.

Kyle (1:57:13 PM): Casilla should have been covering second...

John (1:57:32 PM): Bad times.

John (1:57:59 PM): Ortiz needs to man up.

Kyle (1:58:07 PM): That got scored as a double? I guess, just something cosmicly wrong with that tweener boosting someone's slugging percentage...

Kyle (1:58:47 PM): 1-2... Come on Whiplash!

Kyle (1:58:52 PM): Big K!

John (1:58:55 PM): Hee-ya.

Kyle (1:59:02 PM): Yes!

John (1:59:05 PM): The cowboy monkey.

Kyle (1:59:23 PM): Of Taco John's fame?

John (1:59:27 PM): Indeed.

John (1:59:28 PM): In fact, I will now call Ortiz "the Cowboy Monkey."

Kyle (1:59:44 PM): Have to love a fast food joint that tries to pass off tater-tots as Tex-Mex.

John (1:59:52 PM): Yum!

John (2:00:01 PM): Whiplash was at the North Dakota State Fair.

John (2:00:06 PM): I, sadly, missed that show.

Kyle (2:00:14 PM): You guys know how to party.

John (2:00:28 PM): Like crazy.

Kyle (2:00:38 PM): And I hear the beautiful women are as plentiful as the hills and trees...

John (2:00:44 PM): Ouch.

John (2:01:05 PM): Teddy Roosevelt is going to destroy you from the grave.

John (2:01:20 PM): Or just reach for his inhaler.

Kyle (2:01:38 PM): Joke's on me. I live downtown Saint Paul, which is pretty much the same as North Dakota after 5 PM.

John (2:01:56 PM): Haha.

TOP OF THE FOURTH: Twins 0, Royals 2.

Kyle (2:02:47 PM): Man, nine in a row and four Ks on the day for... Jorge DeLaRosa?

John (2:03:22 PM): Think we can swing a DeLaRosa for Ortiz deal?

Kyle (2:03:41 PM): We'd need to throw in Garza, Slowey, and Parmelee.

John (2:03:45 PM): That works.

John (2:03:55 PM): I'm ready to pull the trigger.

[Tony Pena, Jr. makes a great backhanded grab and throw to put Hunter out at first.]

Kyle (2:04:40 PM): Wow. Nice play by Pena.

John (2:04:44 PM): Nice stab!

Kyle (2:04:54 PM): He's going to need to make a lot of those to carry his bat.

John (2:05:13 PM): About three per inning, I believe.

Kyle (2:05:23 PM): Ouch, you're cutting deep.

John (2:05:44 PM): My apologies to Pena's friends and family that read this.

Kyle (2:05:56 PM): Or, just his family...

Kyle (2:06:07 PM): I know Senior reads our blog daily.

John (2:06:25 PM): I'm honored.

BOTTOM OF THE FOURTH: Twins 0, Royals 2.

[Reggie Sanders sends a hard hit ball to center, which is pulled in by Torii Hunter.]

Kyle (2:08:09 PM): Ortiz left that one over the plate, good thing it was an at-'em ball.

Kyle (2:08:15 PM): And coincedentally, it's interesting to learn Reggie Sanders is still alive.

John (2:08:20 PM): I never get used to the fountain blowing in front of the camera.

John (2:08:32 PM): Looks like they're playing in a monsoon.

Kyle (2:09:12 PM): Yeah... you'd think they'd find a better spot to position the camera.

John (2:09:40 PM): Like in any of the 28,000 empty seats.

Kyle (2:09:38 PM): Maybe it's a ploy to explain attendance.

Kyle (2:09:55 PM): If only it weren't monsoon season in Missouri...

John (2:10:21 PM): Keeps the rice crop healthy.

TOP OF THE FIFTH: Twins 0, Royals 2.

Kyle (2:12:32 PM): DeJesus is actually out of the line-up after being bitten by a banded krait.

John (2:12:57 PM): A...what?

Kyle (2:13:15 PM):

John (2:13:49 PM): Shealy stuck it in his locker as a prank.

Kyle (2:14:09 PM): Man, that's a tough crowd.

Kyle (2:14:58 PM): I think they've got the scrappy intestinal fortitude to come up with a plan so crazy it just might work, and beat the arrogant rich kids on the last day of the season with a brilliant trick play in the bottom of the ninth.

John (2:15:21 PM): It's perfect.

John (2:15:50 PM): I feel inadeqate, pining for the return of Rondell White.

[Jason Bartlett flies out to center for the third out of the half-inning.]

Kyle (2:16:59 PM): I could do with a little RonDL versus a dominat lefty like DeLaRosa.

John (2:17:19 PM): No kidding.

BOTTOM OF THE FIFTH: Twins 0, Royals 2.

[The broadcast resumes with Esteban German standing on second base.]

John (2:18:16 PM): Crap.

John (2:18:28 PM): German didn't want to wait for the commercials to end.

Kyle (2:18:51 PM): It's alright, I don't really want to see Esteban German doubling against my home town team...

Kyle (2:19:04 PM): Can we get a do over?

John (2:19:16 PM): Mulligan!

[Ross Gload grounds out to second with German holding.]

Kyle (2:20:54 PM): With a runner on second and one out, is there where Ortiz draws on his experience as a "proven veteran"?

John (2:21:08 PM): Hopefully.

John (2:21:19 PM): His "moxie," as the kids say.

Kyle (2:21:23 PM): 2-2... there's hope.

Kyle (2:21:37 PM): I do like the cut of his jib...

John (2:21:59 PM): He's the bee's knees, no doubt.

[Ramon Ortiz strikes out Mark Teahen looking for the second out of the half-inning.]

John (2:22:29 PM): Catches the black?

Kyle (2:22:37 PM): Nice job painting the corner. If he gets out of this inning, can we upgrade him from "proven" to "crafty"?

John (2:22:48 PM): Perhaps even "wiley".

Kyle (2:23:00 PM): Let's not get ahead of ourselves...

John (2:23:15 PM): True; we must contain our excitement.

Kyle (2:23:49 PM): Conference on the mond... better goatee: Bartlett or Ortiz?

John (2:24:06 PM): I'd go with Ortiz, but Bart's sideburns carry the day.

Kyle (2:24:29 PM): Yeah, Bartlett is rocking more of the chin-pubes look.

John (2:24:47 PM): That makes it harder for him to take command on pop-ups.

[Mike Sweeney singles to center, scoring German.]

Kyle (2:24:53 PM): Ah, nuts. 3-0.

John (2:25:13 PM): The twins are spotting them a lead out of pity.

[Alex Gordon grounds out to second to end the inning.]

Kyle (2:25:32 PM): Wow, was Casilla playing Gordon to pull.

John (2:26:29 PM): "Mets fan pleads not guilty to trying to blind Braves."

John (2:26:42 PM):

John (2:26:47 PM): Why didn't i think of that?

Kyle (2:27:31 PM): Interfering with a professional sporting event is an actual on-the-books crime in Queens?

John (2:28:09 PM): I'm surprised that the Nationals ever escape convition.

Kyle (2:28:21 PM): [Rim shot.]

TOP OF SIXTH: Twins 0, Royals 3.

Kyle (2:28:05 PM): Only three baserunners through the first five innings for the Twins?

John (2:28:18 PM): This is getting a little frustrating.

[Casilla grounds out to shortstop.]

John (2:28:54 PM): Oh good, another groundout.

John (2:29:23 PM): I was getting a bit worried that the twins had forgotten how to weakly ground out to short.

[Nick Punto grounds out to second.]

Kyle (2:30:22 PM): Nice toss by German, dashed my hopes of another infield single by Punto.

Kyle (2:30:33 PM): Mauer is up... big two out rally?

John (2:30:39 PM): We can dream.

Kyle (2:30:52 PM): I'm going to go find a hat to turn inside out quickly.

John (2:31:29 PM): The rally monkey is on speed-dial.

[Joe Mauer singles to center field.]

Kyle (2:31:35 PM): Nice. Single. I'm sticking with the Softbank Hawks cap on my head until the inning ends.

Kyle (2:31:53 PM): Time for DeLaRosa to make a mistake to the righthanded Cuddyer.

[Dick Bremer is calling a two run home run.]

John (2:32:06 PM): Dick is making the call.

[Mauer advances to second on a wild pitch by DeLaRosa.]

Kyle (2:32:29 PM): 2-0, man on second on the wild pitch... the tension is building!

John (2:32:33 PM): Bremer is like Nick Cage in that terrible-looking movie.

Kyle (2:32:54 PM): If he gets to spoon with Jessica Biel, I'm sure he'll take it.

John (2:33:01 PM): Good point.

Kyle (2:33:04 PM): And the whole two-run homer thing would be nice, too.

[Cuddyer doubles to left field scoring Mauer.]

Kyle (2:33:13 PM): Yes! RBI!

John (2:33:26 PM): We're coming! We're coming!

Kyle (2:33:29 PM): Not exactly a home run, but we'll take it.

Kyle (2:34:10 PM): Now for Morneau to tie the game up with one swing...

[Morneau grounds out to first.]

Kyle (2:34:20 PM): Or ground out to first.

John (2:34:23 PM): Curses!

John (2:34:28 PM): Foiled again.

Kyle (2:34:57 PM): He totaly would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling... Ryan Shealys?

John (2:35:09 PM): Haha.

BOTTOM OF SIXTH: Twins 1, Royals 3.

Kyle (2:36:52 PM): If Ortiz can shut the Roayls down this inning, and give the Twins six innings of three-run ball, I think that's as much as we can ask of a back-end starter.

John (2:37:00 PM): Totally.

John (2:37:15 PM): It's not unreasonable to expect four runs against Jorge DeLaRosa.

Kyle (2:37:26 PM): Or is it?

John (2:37:40 PM): Well, once they give him his Cy Young...

[Reggie Sanders singles to center, but is then caught stealing by Joe Mauer.]

Kyle (2:37:51 PM): Yes!

John (2:38:01 PM): Does that make it all worthwhile?

Kyle (2:38:19 PM): I think so.

John (2:38:17 PM): Nice tag.

Kyle (2:38:20 PM): Man, Casilla just got the tag down in time.

John (2:38:35 PM): Ten years ago, Sanders would have beaten that out.

Kyle (2:39:37 PM): He also would have really intimidated a 12 year-old Casilla.

John (2:39:40 PM): True.

John (2:40:01 PM): And the 38-year-old Ortiz.

[John Buck flies out to deep left field.]

Kyle (2:40:04 PM): I had to hold my breath with Rabe going back to the track...

[Shealy pops out to second to end the inning.]

John (2:40:53 PM): I enjoy the pirhanas commercial.

Kyle (2:41:55 PM): It's alright. I'm more of a let's hit a bunch of three run homers so the little things become completely irrelevant kind of guy, but it's nice to see the Twins have a sense of humor.

John (2:42:10 PM): That works for me.

TOP OF THE SEVENTH: Twins 1, Royals 3.

[Torii Hunter flies out to left field.]

John (2:42:41 PM): Yum! I love one-pitch at-bats.

Kyle (2:43:04 PM): 16 straight until Mauer singled last inning...

Kyle (2:43:23 PM): Time for Redmond to flash his DH power.

John (2:43:36 PM): Hafner-esque.

[Mike Redmond singles to right field.]

Kyle (2:43:59 PM): Base knock works.

Kyle (2:44:15 PM): You'll take anything you can get against Jorge DeLaRosa.

[Blyleven says something incoherent.]

John (2:44:18 PM): "A high-school punt"?

Kyle (2:44:37 PM): You've got me.

[Josh Rabe flies out to right field.]

John (2:44:43 PM): He dropped the head of the bat, and yet did not hit a home run.

John (2:44:51 PM): My reality is shattered.

Kyle (2:44:58 PM): So, two down, do you give Redmond the green light at first?

John (2:45:06 PM): Oh, totally.

John (2:45:15 PM): Get on your horse!

John (2:45:36 PM): They'll never see it coming

[Bartlett flies out to right field, ending the Twins' turn at bat.]

Kyle (2:46:13 PM): Six outs left, down two runs...

John (2:46:26 PM): I'm all for drama.

BOTTOM OF THE SEVENTH: Twins 1, Royals 3.

Kyle (2:46:43 PM): As much as I love to rag on Ortiz, this one's on the offense so far.

John (2:46:52 PM): Indeed.

John (2:47:17 PM): Hmm - Lakers out in front of the Suns early.

Kyle (2:47:55 PM): My grandfather played a single game for the Celtics. He used to have a saying:

Kyle (2:48:10 PM): "Give 'em each 100 points and let them play the last two minutes."

John (2:48:17 PM): Haha.

John (2:48:28 PM): Or, if it's a Jazz-Rockets game, 70 points.

Kyle (2:48:39 PM): Haha.

[Tony Pena grounds to Bartlett who makes a nice throw to get Pena at first.]

John (2:48:43 PM): "He doesn't have his mother's arm, thank goodness."

John (2:48:45 PM): Thanks, Bert.

Kyle (2:49:33 PM): "He's not the best color man in the business for nothing, folks."

John (2:50:15 PM): It's the kind of hard-hitting analysis I've come to expect.

[Ross Gload grounds out to second for the final out of the inning.]

John (2:50:42 PM): Seven solid.

Kyle (2:50:45 PM): 3.86 ERA on the day for Ortiz. Nice work. Now we just need some runs.

Kyle (2:51:02 PM): You doing anything for the 7th inning stretch right now?

John (2:51:24 PM): A rousing listen of the Hold Steady's version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."

John (2:52:33 PM):

Kyle (2:53:52 PM): Very nice. The guitarist in the picture looks very much like Halsey Hall SABR chapter member Howard Luloff, which should be really funny to a dozen or so people.

TOP OF THE EIGHTH: Twins 1, Royals 3.

[Blyleven attempts to sum small numbers together during his color work.]

John (2:54:16 PM): Uh oh...

John (2:54:29 PM): Bert had to do math.

[Casilla, Punto, and Mauer go down in rapid succession.]

Kyle (2:55:43 PM): Down to three outs... eight innings strong for DeLaRosa... why do the Twins always make stiff lefties look like Warren Spahn?

John (2:56:29 PM): Urgh.

John (2:56:49 PM): We can stop giving the Royals pity now, and actually score a few runs.

Kyle (2:57:13 PM): It's alright, it makes the impending Twins' rally all that much more exciting. Either that, or is firm proof of points-shaving.

BOTTOM OF THE EIGHTH: Twins 1, Royals 3.

[Dennis Reyes relieves Ramon Ortiz to start the bottom of the inning.]

John (2:57:42 PM): Big Sweat!

Kyle (2:57:50 PM): If you snuck up behind Reyes, and pushed him over, do you think he'd roll back onto his feet?

John (2:58:01 PM): He's like a sippy-cup.

[Mark Teahen doubles to shallow left field.]

Kyle (2:58:29 PM): Man, what's with the weak doubles today?

John (2:59:01 PM): The wonders of slugging percentage.

Kyle (2:59:13 PM): If Bartlett isn't ailing from a sore groin (and seeing as it's Sunday, what professional athlete isn't?), he gets to that ball.

John (2:59:26 PM): [Rim shot.]

John (2:59:43 PM): The KC night life is tough.

[Mike Sweeney comes to the plate.]

Kyle (2:59:59 PM): I love Reyes as brilliant reclamation project, but I get the heebie-jeebies when he faces righties.

John (3:00:19 PM): More Neshek!

Kyle (3:00:41 PM): First ROOGY ever?

John (3:01:04 PM): Sounds like something Reyes might have from the post-game buffet.

Kyle (3:01:17 PM): Twitch-&-Pitch has some decent taste in rock music, save for the nu metal.

[Reyes picks Teahen off second.]

Kyle (3:01:27 PM): Yes!

Kyle (3:01:44 PM): Roundie with a nice pick-off!

John (3:01:46 PM): Schweet!

[Sweeney singles to center field.]

Kyle (3:02:42 PM): Second hit off Reyes this inning, is there a lefty up soon?

John (3:02:58 PM): He's making me sweat.

Kyle (3:03:09 PM): It's like a Guardado save...

John (3:03:51 PM): Without the "winning" part.

[Alex Gordon strikes out swinging.]

Kyle (3:04:16 PM): See... Ks the lefty Gordon.

Kyle (3:04:43 PM): And in comes Matt Guerier?

John (3:05:09 PM): The strategery evades me.

Kyle (3:06:16 PM): Do the Twins have an off day tomorrow?

John (3:06:31 PM): I don't think so.

Kyle (3:07:31 PM): Cleveland at the Dome, I guess if the rest of the pen has been worked as of recent, it doesn't matter much who pitches to the ghost of Reggie Sanders.

John (3:07:48 PM): Haha.

John (3:07:59 PM): Does that mean he can't be hit by a pitch?

[Sweeney to second on a passed ball.]

Kyle (3:08:34 PM): Five hole on Mauer and Sweeny advances to second...

John (3:08:46 PM): Bah.

Kyle (3:08:49 PM): Redmond could have done that.

John (3:08:56 PM): Totally

Kyle (3:09:33 PM): Full count to Sanders, Sweeney will be going, big pitch for Guerrier...

Kyle (3:09:43 PM): And a walk...

John (3:09:45 PM): Crap.

Kyle (3:10:16 PM): If Guerrier doesn't get out of this inning unscaithed, we need to think up a demeaning knickname...

[John Buck flies out to right field.]

John (3:10:32 PM): Well, he's safe for now.

Kyle (3:10:35 PM): And Cuddyer makes that out as interesting as possible...

John (3:10:47 PM): We're all about entertainment value here

TOP OF THE NINTH: Twins 1, Royals 3.

John (3:11:54 PM): All the chips are down, etc...

Kyle (3:12:20 PM): Rally time. I'm ditching the Hawks cap in favor of my decaying Twins 5950. The sweatband is stained a dark yellow...

John (3:12:34 PM): Yummy!

John (3:12:43 PM): As long as it doesn't become self-aware.

Kyle (3:13:04 PM): "I'm sorry, Kyle, but I can't do that."

John (3:13:17 PM): Haha.

John (3:13:35 PM): "What are you doing, Kyle? Not, the washing machine?"

Kyle (3:14:07 PM): Naw, it knows I'd never do that to the brim...

[Joakim Soria relieves DeLaRosa to start the inning.]

John (3:14:08 PM): Gee, Dotel is injured - shocking!

[Cuddyer grounds out to second base, bringing Justin Morneau to the plate.]

Kyle (3:14:13 PM): Two outs left...

Kyle (3:14:23 PM): Time for Soria to make a mistake to the Canuck.

John (3:14:36 PM): I could deal with that.

[Morneau watches a fastball paint the corner for strike three.]

Kyle (3:15:26 PM): Wow, should have swung at that third strike...

John (3:15:35 PM): Ick.

John (3:15:43 PM): I thought it was low.

John (3:15:48 PM): Well, here we go.

[With Gordon playing deep at third, Hunter lays down a bunt.]

John (3:15:58 PM): Bunt!

Kyle (3:16:06 PM): Nice bunt by Hunter. Single's just as good as a homerun at this point.

John (3:16:20 PM): Need runners.

[Mike Redmond comes to bat.]

Kyle (3:16:40 PM): Let's go Redmond... DH powers, activate!

[Hunter advances to second unchallenged.]

John (3:16:59 PM): Defensive indifference is my favorite play ever.

[Soria runs the count to 1-2 on Redmond.]

Kyle (3:17:12 PM): Down to the last strike...

John (3:17:17 PM): Gulp.

Kyle (3:17:48 PM): Wow, did that catch the corner?

John (3:17:50 PM): Boo!

John (3:17:52 PM): Outside!

Kyle (3:18:19 PM): Yeah... I think the home plate ump has a flight to catch... or is a relative of Soria's.

John (3:18:28 PM): Conspiracy!

1 comment:

John Sharkey, Esq. said...

I salute you, Kyle. An editing job for the ages.